Even if you’ve gotten your own financial house in order, you may be worried about your family’s bottom line. Maybe one of your parents isn’t financially savvy, maybe one of your children is struggling or perhaps you and your significant other aren’t on the same page of the ledger.

Most of us have an instinctive reaction whenever we see a friend or a family member in a tough spot: we offer to help. But, at least in financial situations, helping may not be such a great idea. The most common type of financial help anyone will ask you for is a loan. Can you afford to make such a loan? Will you be able to help again if their situation gets worse? You might be tempted to offer up financial advice, especially if you’ve been working on your own situation. Unfortunately, most people just don’t want to hear it.

How can you help your loved ones?

There’s nothing wrong with offering up a little cash to help your family through a tight spot if you want to. If you do so, don’t think of the money as a loan. Don’t count on getting it back. Some relatives may make the effort to repay you, and if that happens, congratulations. But if that’s not the case, you don’t want a little money interfering in your relationship with your family. Just consider it a gift and let it go.

Don’t make a habit out of loaning money to your friends and family, either. It’s tempting, but I’ve learned from experience that just means that they’ll keep coming to you for help, rather than trying to find a permanent solution to their problems.

The best help you can provide is often education on their current situation. Most people don’t particularly want advice on straightening out their finances, but if one of your friends or family members have decided that they’re ready to make some changes, offer up the resources that have worked for you. I would never suggest pushing a copy of your favorite personal finance book on your relatives. If they ask for it, though, go right ahead.

Don’t wait around for your loved ones.

I’ve talked to plenty of folks who say that they’ll work on their finances when their significant others will help. But while they wait around, their financial situations are getting worse. Their significant others may not even know that there is a problem.

Personally, I’m in favor of just getting a move on personal finance. But don’t just leave your significant other out on the project: explain what you’re trying to do. They don’t have to help — it’s nice, but there are plenty of relationships where one person is clearly in charge of the money. They should know what you’re thinking, though. Maybe you’ll be surprised. Maybe your other half has just been waiting on you.

In the end…

You can’t just fix someone else’s problems. The best you can do is make sure you’re on solid financial footing and offer help when it’s asked for.

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We’ve heard the news about the failing housing market, how prices are plummeting and sales are stagnant. Now is the time if you’re looking to buy, but be careful. Even in this buyers market you can still trip up. Here are a few tips and things to consider before signing on the dotted line.

More Than Just Rent

Looking to move beyond renting? This is without a doubt an excellent time to buy. With interest rates so low and home prices finally coming back down to earth, the time is now. Before you go diving in headfirst however, sit down with your local lending officer or financial advisor and really plan out your next step.

Always remember that you’re going to be paying a lot more than just your mortgage when you buy a home, and those payments can fluctuate. Depending on your financial situation, a steady rent might be better than an adjustable loan with taxes, utilities, maintenance costs, insurance, etc. In order to see if your income can support a mortgage, calculate your Debt to Income Ratio.

Debt to Income (D/I), is calculated (to a point) by your lender, but you can do a more accurate one yourself. Obviously you take your monthly income (I suggest the net amount, after taxes), then subtract the bills you have to pay each month. These include your car payments, any credit cards, utilities, etc. What is left is how much you are able to put towards your mortgage payment, and hopefully your own savings and use. By doing this you can work backwards to see what price range you can afford.

While your credit score and report are important parts of getting a home loan, your D/I is just as important. When the bank looks at your credit score, they are looking to see if you have a history of paying back your loans. If your history is good, they are more likely to approve you. But however good your credit is, if your income can’t support the monthly payments (which, if you’re a first time homebuyer are probably adjustable) you still won’t be approved. By paying down your credit cards and other debt you not only increase your credit score, but you also lower your D/I. The lower your D/I, the more cash you have on hand to put towards the mortgage, and therefore the banks feel better about writing you a check for several hundred thousand dollars.

While this all sounds a little scary for first timers, sitting down and getting your expenses on paper will help take a lot of the guesswork out of buying a home. Many don’t realize exactly how in debt they are until they list every expense they have during a month. If you calculate your D/I, you’ll know whether you need to get a higher paying job, pay down credit cards, or simply skip the mocha latte every morning in order to achieve your goal of buying a home.