Even if you’ve gotten your own financial house in order, you may be worried about your family’s bottom line. Maybe one of your parents isn’t financially savvy, maybe one of your children is struggling or perhaps you and your significant other aren’t on the same page of the ledger.
Most of us have an instinctive reaction whenever we see a friend or a family member in a tough spot: we offer to help. But, at least in financial situations, helping may not be such a great idea. The most common type of financial help anyone will ask you for is a loan. Can you afford to make such a loan? Will you be able to help again if their situation gets worse? You might be tempted to offer up financial advice, especially if you’ve been working on your own situation. Unfortunately, most people just don’t want to hear it.
How can you help your loved ones?
There’s nothing wrong with offering up a little cash to help your family through a tight spot if you want to. If you do so, don’t think of the money as a loan. Don’t count on getting it back. Some relatives may make the effort to repay you, and if that happens, congratulations. But if that’s not the case, you don’t want a little money interfering in your relationship with your family. Just consider it a gift and let it go.
Don’t make a habit out of loaning money to your friends and family, either. It’s tempting, but I’ve learned from experience that just means that they’ll keep coming to you for help, rather than trying to find a permanent solution to their problems.
The best help you can provide is often education on their current situation. Most people don’t particularly want advice on straightening out their finances, but if one of your friends or family members have decided that they’re ready to make some changes, offer up the resources that have worked for you. I would never suggest pushing a copy of your favorite personal finance book on your relatives. If they ask for it, though, go right ahead.
Don’t wait around for your loved ones.
I’ve talked to plenty of folks who say that they’ll work on their finances when their significant others will help. But while they wait around, their financial situations are getting worse. Their significant others may not even know that there is a problem.
Personally, I’m in favor of just getting a move on personal finance. But don’t just leave your significant other out on the project: explain what you’re trying to do. They don’t have to help — it’s nice, but there are plenty of relationships where one person is clearly in charge of the money. They should know what you’re thinking, though. Maybe you’ll be surprised. Maybe your other half has just been waiting on you.
In the end…
You can’t just fix someone else’s problems. The best you can do is make sure you’re on solid financial footing and offer help when it’s asked for.
